City of Bones parody poster

Episode 13 – City of Bones

City of Bones parody poster When her mother disappears, Clary Fray learns that she descends from a line of warriors who protect our world from demons. She joins forces with others like her and heads into a dangerous alternate New York called Downworld.

Kayla rejoins us in yet another review of a young adult novel adaptation, delivered a few weeks too late to be relevant! Gah, we are so bad at this. I mean, it would help if one of these movies stayed at the theater longer than a week and a half, but still.

Thrill as we tackle such fascinating topics as falcons, soda can tabs, surprise!werewolves, latin pronunciations, questionable writing practices, and safe (incestuous) sex! Oh, what fun was had.


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So how did you guys enjoy City of Bones? Booze? Drugs? Do you have any answers for our pressing questions? Why ARE any of the characters “angels”, anyway? Let us know in the comments!


Theme music is Overnight, by Aya.

WARNING: NSFW! Mature audiences only! Contains salty language, subversive ideas, industry-challenging discussions, and nuts.


5 Comments

  • SistertoDragons

    September 14, 2013

    I can’t find you on iTunes, which is inhibiting my ability to subscribe and access the podcasts from my iPod.

    What are you called? There is some other “papercuts” podcast that is most certainly NOT you.

    Reply
    • Cyna

      Cyna

      September 16, 2013

      I’m sorry about the iTunes thing, we’ve been relying on podomatic to manage our iTunes stuff, but with the limits on storage size, we’ve been having to jump around accounts a lot. BUT I’M WORKING ON THIS AS WE SPEAK, so hopefully we’ll have solid iTunes info for you soon!

      Reply
  • Cheryl H.

    September 17, 2013

    LOVE the movie poster! The snark, it is fabulous!

    Cassandra Claire is totally fine with incestuous lusting in her novels. ‘City of Ashes’ and ‘City of Glass’ is full of it.

    Years ago, I read a quote by Ian McKellan about bad guys that said, basically, they don’t see themselves as the bad guy. They see themselves as doing the right thing for the right reasons. People always have a reason for what they do, and people aren’t evil for the sake of being evil. Hitler didn’t initiate the Final Solution, the plan to eliminate all Jews and other ‘impure’ peoples, because he wanted to do something that’s evil and wrong and reprehensible and disgusting and repugnant. He initiated the Final Solution to purify the lands under German control from ‘impure’ people, freeing up space for Aryans to live and work and raise their families. On a side note, had other countries in the world not been so anti-Semetic and allowed Jews from Germany and the lands Germany conquered to immigrate when they had the chance in the late ’30s, far fewer Jews would’ve died later. In HP, Voldie has a reason for what he does. Valentine…who the heck knows? Here, have a mustache-twirling baddie-type gif: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5h94oDpAH1r3ttymo1_400.gif

    CC has stated that ‘Clary’ has nothing whatsoever to do with her name, which is not her (CC’s) real name. The reason Clary has Sooper!Speshul!Powers isn’t revealed until the third novel, and I forget which novel Simon vamps out in. Simon’s a Speshul!Snowflake vampire in the series, btw.

    A Mundane/Mundie is a human. Yes, the Shadowhunters are very dismissive of Mundies. Racism is rampant in these novels, and, unlike in HP, it’s not made clear it’s a bad thing.

    Valentine needs the Mortal Instruments, of which there are three, to make more Shadowhunters. The goal of the ‘good guys’ is to keep the Mortal Instruments out of his hands.

    If you want a decent portrayal of gay men/relationships, don’t look to CC. Magnus is a stereotypical flamer and Alec is a flat, pissy character. I think those are the only two gay characters in the series and Alec’s so far into the closet for most of the series he probably found Narnia back there.

    The Nephilim are from Genesis (which ‘belongs’ to both Judaism and Christianity (and, perhaps, Islam, but don’t quote me on that)), and, yes, the whole origins story does come into play in the third novel (which was the final novel when MI was planned to be a trilogy). I totally agree God showing up at the bottom of the 9th is bull.

    I could shred the living shit out of the series on how and why, from a Christian POV, God would have smote the Shadowhunters. CC is Jewish and I know there will be parts where the way I interpret verses and sections are different than how she interprets the same verses and sections, but the Jewish Law is pretty cut-and-dried when it comes to certain things, and the God of the OT didn’t mess around with the whole judgment thing when people went around flouting the Law, so…yeah.

    Reply
  • saturday

    June 19, 2014

    as an ex-fan of the series, i can (unfortunately) clarify a lot of things. this is an old podcast, but hey. why not. i haven’t seen the movie but i have far too much knowledge of the books. since city of ashes is apparently going to happen i hope to hear you guys talk about it so i don’t have to watch it and can vicariously experience the joy of ripping it to shreds. i spent far too much time invested in these books when i was younger and had worse taste, so i might as well make some use out of what i know.

    in the book, simon gets turned into a rat because magnus thought it’d be totally cool to have weird drinks at his party that can turn people into rats, and then refuse to turn them back. and the vamps thought he was one of theirs because vampires turn into rats and bats and piles of dust when they get drunk. that is never brought up again. who cares about worldbuilding or internal consistency, right? certainly not clare, because she directly contradicts herself many times throughout her books.

    and magnus is apparently bisexual but i’m pretty sure clare only did that because in her prequel series she needed an excuse to get him involved (he’s a fan favourite) so she made him the boyfriend of a lady vampire who was important to the story. he’s got an entire series of short stories about him and i’ve heard they’re atrocious. he’s a bit of a mess of a character, really. and apparently after they filmed his parts they brought in another actor to dub over his lines because of reasons i’ve never heard, so maybe you can’t judge the actor based on that.

    valentine wanted the cup to create the child army but in the third book that’s not his plan at all and it’s something totally different. if you don’t mild spoilers, he needs the cup to summon the angel raziel and then he plans to command the angel to make all the shadowhunters who aren’t his minions and who val hasn’t made drink from the cup into mundanes, so their marks kill them/turn them into zombies or something. were the forsaken a part of the movie?

    you’ve got the the ‘who’s his daddy’ bit in there wrong. jace is actually the son of a guy named stephen herondale, not wayland. val did an emergency c-section on jace’s mom after she killed herself because stephen died for some reason, and then he went and killed michael wayland and his son because he needed to take over some other dudes identity. it’s all really stupid but val is the guy who raised jace, but he did it under the name michael wayland, and apparently jace never saw a picture of any of them (wayland or valentine or herondale, who he apparently looks exactly like) even though they were all friends with the lightwoods so he never managed to put it together. yeah.

    the angelic aspect does kinda come up but it’s all pretty stupid, as the above commenter said. it’s heavier in the three books she wrote to extend the trilogy and suck more cash out of it, but those books also take a sharp nosedive in terms of quality, and when you look at what the baseline for quality is from clare that really says something.

    oh, and hodge (not-dumbledore) does show up again in the third book and i think he dies. so, there’s that. if they ever get to that movie.

    i love the podcast, by the way. it’s been a while since you guys had one up and i hope that’s because stuff gets in the way and not giving up. it’s nice to hear people actually talking about the issues of the genre and not dancing around it and trying to be delicate, y’know? just because stuff is aimed at teens doesn’t mean we have to lowers our standards in terms of quality. if anything, they should be higher! but i can go on about that forever and i probably shouldn’t. i hope to hear another podcast from you guys soon! and if there’s questions about this mess of a series/movie… well, i’ll be here.

    Reply
    • Cyna

      Cyna

      July 5, 2014

      Hey Saturday! Thanks for taking the time to comment. Old podcast or not, we love hearing from listeners :3 It’s nice to know there’s someone out there~

      he’s a bit of a mess of a character, really. and apparently after they filmed his parts they brought in another actor to dub over his lines because of reasons i’ve never heard, so maybe you can’t judge the actor based on that.

      That actually makes a crapton of sense, and explains all the weird line-readings. Poor Gao! That’s such an awful thing to have happen in your introductory “blockbuster” film. Suck or not suck, that should all be on you, not some rando they get to dub over you when all’s supposed to be said and done.

      you’ve got the the ‘who’s his daddy’ bit in there wrong. jace is actually the son of a guy named stephen herondale, not wayland.

      Ahhh, that must be explained in later books, I just assumed there was only one identity swap. CLEARLY WE DID NOT OVER-COMPLICATE IT ENOUGH.

      val did an emergency c-section on jace’s mom after she killed herself because stephen died for some reason, and then he went and killed michael wayland and his son because he needed to take over some other dudes identity.

      …that’s…off-puttingly dark o.O

      but he did it under the name michael wayland, and apparently jace never saw a picture of any of them (wayland or valentine or herondale, who he apparently looks exactly like) even though they were all friends with the lightwoods so he never managed to put it together. yeah.

      That is some nonsensical bullshit. Oh Clare.

      i love the podcast, by the way. it’s been a while since you guys had one up and i hope that’s because stuff gets in the way and not giving up. it’s nice to hear people actually talking about the issues of the genre and not dancing around it and trying to be delicate, y’know? just because stuff is aimed at teens doesn’t mean we have to lowers our standards in terms of quality.

      :3 Thank you so much. You really don’t know how much that means to all of us ^_^ We absolutely agree – as Fangs often puts it, this shit is popular so by all rights it should probably be scrutinized *more* bc it has so much influence on popular culture, and especially on teens.

      At any rate, we all really hope to be back with some new podcasts soon. Life has definitely been busy and complicated, but hopefully it will clear up soon. We really hope you’ll bear with us until we can get stuff straightened out!

      Reply

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